Time To Manscape

We’ve all had grooming issues. We’ve all had the occasional nose hair hanging, or the occasional ear hair poking out, or the occasional toilet paper on our foot as we walk out of the bathroom.

But the question is: do you tell your friends when they have this happen to them? I’ve had some friends who have had horrific nose hairs growing out of their nostrils. They’re so long and antenna-like, I swear they probably could pick things up if you spoke to them.

How do they not notice when they look in the mirror? How does a person not notice when they have five or six nose hairs poking out of the bottom of a single nostril? Do any people these days even find it socially acceptable to have nose hairs come out of one’s nose?

Granted, I know that nose hairs serve a purpose. They protect you by getting particles and germs trapped in the nose hairs so they don’t make it up into your sinuses–but seriously, we don’t have to see those suckers in action. You don’t have to look like a walrus sitting across from us at a table.

Right now I can’t see every single one of you readers, so I can’t see what your grooming habits are. So here’s the deal. Go to a mirror right now and look at your nose from a side view. If you see any little black hairs at all protruding out past your nostrils, clip them with scissors. No, not with a pair of scissors you use to cut paper, but a pair of nose hair clippers.

What about ear hair? Ear hair is a major issue for men, especially Indian men and men who are getting a little older. I personally believe that men should not look like a Jack Russell terrier with little hairs coming out of every single fold of their ear.

Here’s the deal. Once again, go to a mirror and now look around your general ear area. If you see any ear hairs protruding out from inside your ear, around your ear, on your earlobe…pluck them. Or take your little finger, run it over your ear lobe and feel. Does it feel furry to you? Does it feel a little fuzzy? Do you feel like you may have Jack Russell terrier ear? If you do, may I suggest you pluck it?

Let me tell you, when you’re with a woman (or even if you’re just talking to a woman), she’s going to be staring at those ear hairs, she won’t be able to focus on talking to you, and all she’ll be able to think about is plucking them. And she will be grossed out.

And what about guys who have eyebrow hair so long that it comes protruding out starts curling upward toward the sky? Take a look at your head in a mirror from a side view. If your eyebrows are coming out, going straight forward, or curling up and around, trim them. Cut them down or the next time you go to the barber, make sure he trims it down for you.

And forget about back hair. I don’t even want to touch that topic. If you’ve got back hair or chest hair coming out of your shirt, for god sakes shave it, clip it, trim it, wax it, do what you have to do. Granted, we’re a lot hairier as a gender than women, but we don’t need to be walking around like giant bears who just got out of hibernation. But unless you’re looking to attract other brown bears, I suggest you make sure you trim your body hair down a little bit.

Guys, take some time to manscape a little bit. It’s good for you. And it’s also very manly. You can remain the big, manly bear that you are. Just be a manicured one.