So you met this girl that you’re really attracted to. You go out on a date with her. She’s fun. She’s a blast. It ends well. She kisses you. You think everything is going great.
You call her a few days later and ask her out again. She says yes. You get a text from her as you’re pulling out of the driveway to pick her up. Something came up and she can’t make it. She texts you the next day and makes plans. So, you set something up for a few days later. And sure enough, when the day comes she texts again and tells you something else came up and she can’t make it. And she reschedules again.
So you, of course,–like a puppy dog that goes along with anything—reschedule with her. And sure enough, you get to go out with her one more time and you’re so happy. At the end of that date, she kisses you again. Everything seems great. And then you schedule another date with her and she does it again—she flakes again and texts you at the last minute. What does all this mean? Here’s what it means. It means that you need to stop thinking with your dick. Whether this girl is hot or not, she’s got the mind of 12 year old. She’s all over the map, what I call an “ungrounded chick”.
There’s tons of them running around. Usually they’re working a few jobs or they have a job they don’t like and they’re constantly searching for something else or they’re under the influence of their clique or their friends. And they roll with the punches. Whatever their friends say, they’ll do.
A lot of guys e-mail me and ask what they should do in these situations. How do I change her behavior? How do I make this stop happening? How do I get her to stop flaking on me? How do I talk to her? I mean, how do I have sex with her?
Here’s the deal, guys: this is who she is and this is the stage that she’s at in her life right now. She’s in a very flaky stage in her life. She’s not grounded. She doesn’t know who she is. She doesn’t know what she wants. And your job is not to help her. Your job is to let her go.
Let some other dude deal with her crap because you don’t need to. You’re not going to change where she is in her life right now. And that’s something that everybody needs to understand. A lot of guys don’t understand that. When you have a woman who’s at this point in her life, she’s at this point in her life for a reason. She needs to figure out her journey right now and you’re not a part of it.
I have no patience for flakers at all. I’ll usually just tell a girl, “Look, you’re just all over the map right now. I don’t have any patience for this. I just wanted to hang and have a good time. When you’re a little more grounded, call me.”
I’ll call them out on it. It’s amazing what happens. They’ll get a little pissed, but they’ll know it’s true. And then sure enough, you’ll run into them three, four months later when they’re maybe a little more grounded and guess what? They remember you as the strong guy; the one that basically slapped them around and told them to go get their crap together in order for them to hang out with the gift of you. You put yourself in a much greater position of power that way when you do that. You go out as the strong guy, not the weak guy. The weak guy will continue to pursue her. Guess what happens to him? Absolutely nothing. He doesn’t get laid. He doesn’t get to hang out with her. He just becomes the pawn in her life.
But, the guy who’s strong, the guy who tells her to get her crap together, is the guy that gets looked up again three, four months later. How do I know? I’ve been doing this for 25 years, calling women out on their crap. Every client of mine that I tell to do this ends up with the girl three or four months later, because it shows her that you are a strong person and you are not afraid of the outcome. You’re not outcome driven. You’re not afraid to let her go. It’s amazing, and it shows strength, and it turns them on.
Next time, listen to me, and we’ll see what happens.